Shawna R. B. Atteberry

I have been thinking a lot about nurturing recently. Part of it has to due with the clinical depression, but not all of it. Earlier this year I went through The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity. Every week it was stressed how important it was, not only to take care of ourselves, but to nurture ourselves–especially our inner artist. The child in us who loves to draw, color, paint, write and not be told what to do. It is also because of the command to love our neighbors as ourselves. We cannot love anyone else if we do not love ourselves. Sally’s Friday Five, Extravagant Unbusyness also brought this up. How do we take care ourselves? How do we treat ourselves?

Several of you wanted me to write poetry and post it this week. I’m sorry to say that I didn’t write any poetry (but it’s still a goal). But I did do two things on my list:: I took a long hot bath, and I started reading The Golden Compass. In fact, I got a good ways into The Golden Compass last night. The characters are great. I also like Pullman’s writing. He’s a wonderful storyteller. I think Wicked was the last novel I read, and that has to be at least three months ago. I need to take the time to read fiction. I love it. I get so caught up in the books I’m reading for my writing projects and launching the church, that I’m not reading something just to read it and have fun. I enjoy what I read for work, but it’s that: work. All reading cannot be for work. The same with writing poetry. Not all writing can be for work. Some of it has to be fun and just because. So yes, I intend to keep that one way of nurturing myself: writing a poem, just because.

My wonderings (and wanderings) about nurturing myself have clicked with the observance of the Sabbath. This idea that we need a day off to rest, to worship, and to recoup. A day where it’s okay to stop and take care of ourselves. I wonder if we kept a Sabbath, if taking care of ourselves and nurturing ourselves would be so hard. Because it would be ingrained in us to stop, to worship, to rest, to relax, and to have fun one day a week instead of being on a merry-go-round of always having to do something. And I’m not talking about a strict do nothing observance of days past where one did nothing except go to church and then sit for the rest of the day.

In her book, Keeping the Sabbath Wholly, Marva Dawn says that not all activity has to cease. Just work: what we do to feel productive, make money, pretend to give meaning to our lives. The work we cease from doing is the work we do to live. The Sabbath is a day to trust God: to trust God to take care of our needs without us doing anything. The activities we can do on the Sabbath are those we enjoy doing and may be don’t do because we see them as frivolous: taking a walk through the park, playing in the park, gardening, sewing, crocheting, taking a nap and getting some well-deserved rest, or may be writing poems and reading a novel. It’s doing things that free us from the mentality that we are what we do and how much we produce.

It’s also a time to leave behind the world’s way of relating to each other in using people for what we can get or for what they can do for us. It’s a time to receive God’s unconditional love, knowing there is nothing we can do to earn it. It is a time of learning to give and receive that unconditional love from each other. It is a time of love and give as God loves and gives. It’s a day of feasting and celebration. It’s a day of worshiping God together and being the people of God without worrying about anything apart from communion with God and communion with one another.

The Sabbath makes it okay to stop. To stop and take care of ourselves. To stop and love and rejoice with other people. To stop and focus on God and his love. I think if we took the Sabbath seriously, we would not have such a hard time taking care of ourselves and nurturing ourselves. I think if we practiced the Sabbath we would not feel guilty of nurturing ourselves because God himself rested after creation on the Sabbath. Right after he created human beings in his image, he rested. We are made in God’s image, and we are made to rest on the Sabbath. Part of being made in the image of God is a day of rest, worship, nurture, and feasting and fun.

I’m beginning to think about this as I will begin to pastor and “work” on Sunday again. Marva published a book last year that I need to read: The Sense of the Call: A Sabbath Way of Life for Those Who Serve God, the Church, and the World. I need to get it because it is so hard to observe a Sabbath when you’re a pastor. I remember that. It’s doubly hard when you’re bivocational. I remember the burnout from that. I’m hoping I get a sense of how to keep the Sabbath while pastoring from Marva’s new book.

The picture is “The Risen Lord” by He Qi.

I stood before her tomb: St. Catherine of Sienna at Sant Maria Soph de Minerva, Rome’s only Gothic church. Her remains were entombed in the high altar, which was gorgeous. Her likeness had been sculpted and laid in a glass sarcophagus. I gave an offering, lit a candle, and said The Lord’s Prayer. Later I thought of how I would have asked her to pray for me, if I prayed to saints.

There were were a few things Catherine did not like about the Catholic Church the same way there are a few things I do not like about the Church of the Nazarene. In fact, when we were in Rome, I was seriously considering leaving my denomination because of decisions made on the general leadership level that I thought were nonbiblical and unethical. I didn’t know if I could stay a member–especially an ordained minister–when I doubted decisions and motives at the highest levels of our leadership.

Catherine was born in 1347 in Siena, Italy. This was the time of the Great Schism in the Catholic Church with France and Italy vying for power. 75 years earlier French cardinals and the monarchy had succeeded in moving the papacy to Avignon, France. A move the Italians saw a betrayal of the highest order. For a time there were two popes because Rome and Italy refused to recognize the French “puppet” pope. By the time Catherine was born the papacy was firmly established in France.

(more…)

They say you haven’t made it in the blogosphere until someone slices and dices you. Well, ladies and gentlemen, I have been sliced and diced! And by another Nazarene no less. A Nazarene who does not believe that his denomination’s 103 year history of ordaining women is right. He took apart Does It Really Mean Helpmate? here.

I wish I could tell you that you would read a worthy critique of my work. But I can’t. There is a lot of proof-texting and a bunch of fuzzy logic. I chuckled my way through it. I equally chuckled my way through his analysis of Dr. Joseph Coleson’s Ezer Cenegdo: A Power Like Him Facing Him as Equal here, which is quite entertaining as well.

I wish it was a worthy slice and dice, but I was sliced and diced with Dr.Coleson who was my OT prof at seminary, and he has a doctorate in biblical semetic languages. I just have a little ole Master of Arts degree in Biblical Studeis. But I have been sliced and diced! Woot!

Related Series: Career Women of the Bible

One of the largest Southern Baptist seminaries, Southern Baptist Theological Seminary (SBTS), in Louisville, Kentucky has just begun a new core of programs for women, which include:

Seminary Wives Institute is an innovative program designed to prepare the wives of seminary students for their role in their husbands’ ministries.

Women’s Ministry Institute offers women the opportunity to improve their skills and ministry through a variety of classes geared toward women’s ministries in the local church.

Classes include housekeeping, budgeting, being your husband’s best friend, keeping an organized house, and sewing. There are Bible classes, but the descriptions sound like the women taking these classes have never been to Sunday School. There are also “leadership” classes, but the brochure and class descriptions make it clear that this is leadership for womens and children’s ministry. The counseling classes make it clear that women are to only counsel other women according to the Titus 2 model. My favorite class module was this one:

Redeeming the Time looks at setting goals and priorities but also tackles practical issues including day planners; handling paper, avoiding clutter; home management; housekeeping and kitchen organization. This course is aimed to challenge those who are already skilled in areas of organization as well as to motivate those who have room for vast improvement.

Most seminary students are at least 22, and I was 28 when I started seminary. I have friends who started seminary in their 30s and 40s. I’m thinking most seminary wives, along with most seminary husbands, have an idea of how to use a day planner and set goals. This module also makes it clear that a woman’s role is to keep house, period. There is also a core of courses on homemaking. Classes include homemaking, sewing, taking care of children, and cooking. Basically SBST’s courses of study for women are degrees in home economics.

This is why I am writing Career Women of the Bible. There is a disturbing trend in evangelicalism that takes the 1950s Leave It to Beaver family and elevates it to the biblical model of family. The “biblical” model of being a woman means staying at home, raising children, and taking care of the household. But does the Bible really say that?

This book began as my thesis in seminary. During my time at Nazarene Theological Seminary (NTS), I would be asked in churches if I was going to seminary to be a pastor’s wife. I wasn’t. I was called to be a pastor. This question asked in church foyers, potlucks, and Sunday School classes struck me as odd. It seemed odd because The Church of the Nazarene has been ordaining women for over 100 years. The first women in my denomination was ordained in 1903. In the 1930s 30% of Nazarene ordained elders were women. The largest Nazarene church, First Church of the Nazarene, in Little Rock, Arkansas was pastored by a woman in the 40s–Agnes Diffee. Little Rock First ran 3,000 then. Agnes also became the first female radio evangelist in the United States.

This question also made me a little angry. Why would anyone think I was pursuing a Masters degree to find a husband? With what it cost? And the time? It was insulting to me. It wasn’t until after I had graduated that I found out that in the 1970s NTS had a course for guess who? Yes–for pastors’ wives. In a denomination that had been ordaining women since the turn of the twentieth century, they had a pastor’s wives (not spouses) course.

“Are you going to seminary to be a pastor’s wife?” This question sparked my thesis. It was a Theology of Single Women in Ministry. I wanted to show that God called women in their own right to be prophets, judges, and leaders. Even women like Deborah and Huldah were not leaders because of their husbands. They were leaders because God called them and they obeyed. I have since thought more and more about women in the Bible–and not just the ones called to leadership positions. Even those who appear to be the typical mother and housewife on the surface belie these apparent roles. Women such as the matriarchs–Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, and Leah–helped define the covenant with God and literally birthed God’s chosen people. The Proverbs 31 woman, who is usually prooftexted into the domestic diva of her day, did not just keep an orderly house and raise kids. She was also a business woman: she spun and wove cloth and sold it. She also had her own property, which she bought and sold. Taking a closer look at the women in the Bible shows there is much more complexity to who they were and their roles than what a cursory glance gives.

But one thing I do not want to do is gloss over or demean the women who have chosen to stay home and raise their children. I believe being a mother is a full-time job and then some. That is why I have made sure to include mothers in this book. In the Bible mothers make covenant decisions regarding their children. Women’s decisions regarding their children have led to mighty movements of God’s Spirit. Think of Rebekah making sure Jacob receives Isaac’s blessing as God had told her years before. Think of Hannah giving Samuel into God’s service, and the revival that came to Israel due to Samuel’s leadership. Women’s fingerprints, mothers’ fingerprints, are all over the purposes and plans of God for God’s chosen people: both Israel and the Church.

I think by taking a closer look at the women in the Bible, we will see that they wore as many hats as women do today: wives, mothers, students, prophets, judges, evangelists, pastors, and apostles. There were also business women: Lydia and the Proverbs 31 woman; harvesters like Ruth, and a queen who saved her people, Esther. Women in the Bible lived many different roles as women today.

I hope this book will help you see that God has not limited what women can do. In fact, the biblical witness is just the opposite: we see God calling women to build God’s kingdom in both the sacred and secular realms as well as the home.

Pictures:

Rev. Agnes Diffee (1889–1970) who pastored Little Rock First Church of the Nazarene in the 1940s.

Rev. Santos Elizondo (1867–1941) who preached and led 100s to Christ in El Paso and Juarez. She was in charge of Nazarene work in Juarez for 35 years.

Rev. Emma Irck (1888–1984) pastored the largest Nazarene church in Houston, Texas. She was also a renowned evangelist who traveled thousands of miles to hold revivals.

Pictures and descriptions are from the Weselyan Holiness Women Clergy website. For more information on these women and other women leaders influential in the holiness movement visit WHWC Picture Gallery.

(Hat tip to Feminary and Church Gal for bringing this up on both of their blogs, and a very big thank you for giving me the thing I needed to spark off the introduction for this book.)

Related Links:
Updated: Potential “Career Women of the Bible” Outline
Viewpoint of a Female Minister

I was awake at two in the morning writing. Ideas and thoughts kept twirling through my head, so I finally got up and wrote, and wrote, and wrote. It was great. Here is some journaling I did on writing. I started writing at 2:55 a.m.

I have just written something that I know is good. It is good and it is right on. It feels so good. Especially after being sick for three days. It feels good to have it flow and just come. It kept twirling around and around in my head, so I finally got up and wrote it: the rough draft of my introduction to Career Women of the Bible! And it work–it just works! Yes, there will be editing, and I’m sure I’ll be adding to it, but it works. Writers don’t get these inspired highs much, or at least I don’t. May be I need to write more at 2:00 in the morning. It really is amazing. When ideas are swirling in my head after I go to bed, I can always get up, work on it, then sleep until 10:00 or 11:00 and get up and work in the afternoon. I remember writing my thesis: a lot of that happened between 10:00 p.m.–2:00 a.m. Then I had to be at work 7:30 a.m. Yes, I was a zombie during the day. My creative juices do flow in the wee hours, so may be I just need to go with it. Put in four to five hours in the afternoon and another two to three in the wee hours and see what happens.

Of course that’s going to royally screw me up on Sunday when I need to get up early for Sunday School and church. To be to Sunday School by 9:30, I have to leave home at 8:30. Why you ask? Because that’s the closest Church of the Nazarene. That’s one of the many reasons I want to plant a church in the area. Oh well, I’ll deal. There’s always Tylenol PM until I have a ministry going closer to home.

I really do like writing at this time. It’s quiet. There’s a misty, mysterious fog over the lake and the lamps have that otherworldly glow to them. Yes, this is my time. May be it’s time to accept that and go with it.

Not to mention it’s very cool to be working in bed next to my sleeping husband who is so cool with his quirky wife and my quirky hours. He woke up a few minutes ago: “You’re working?” “Oh yeah, babe the creative juices are flowing,” and I then proceeding to tell the poor man I had the introduction to my next book. Then he went back to sleep. I like glancing over and watching him sleep and feeling his foot up against mine, his hand reaching out to touch me. How’d I get so lucky? I married a man who supports me in both of my callings: writing and pastoring, and he’s fine with the weird hours I tend to keep due to insomnia. May be it’s not insomnia after all. May be I’m awake at this time because I’m supposed to be up writing and creating. For so long I’ve thought I need to keep “business” hours. But why? I am self-employed. And I should work when I am at my best. If that happens to be at two in the morning, so be it! I normally don’t get much done in the morning anyway: I might as well sleep late. I get much more done in the afternoon and late at night.

This gets me thinking about planting a ministry later on Sunday or Saturday night for people who can’t do the traditional Sunday church thing. There’s an idea. I may have to think and pray on that for awhile and see what happens. Even moving Sunday School after the service with the service starting at 11:00 a.m. would be better than Sunday School at 9:30 or 10:00 a.m. The other option would be having “Sunday” School/small groups and a worship service on Saturday. I’m definitely going to need to keep those options in mind.

I’m right where I’m supposed to be, doing what I’m supposed to do, and it’s a good feeling. Even if it is 3:11 in the morning! Now that this done and my creativity is starting to wind down, I will be able to sleep. And I did some good work tonight. That’s something to sleep too.

Related Links:
Career Women of the Bible: Introduction
Updated: Potential “Career Women of the Bible” Outline

Here is the very beginning of my potential outline for the Career Women of the Bible book proposal.

1. Introduction

2. In the Beginning
Does It Really Mean “Helpmate”?
The Fall and Women

2. Ministers
The 12th Century, B.C.E. Woman: Deborah
Standing Between Life and Death: Miriam
Standing Between Life and Death: Zipporah and Huldah
The Apostle to the Apostles: Mary Magdalene
Apostles and Prophets
Teachers, Elders, and Coworkers

3. Mothers and More
Sarah
Hagar
Rebekah
Rachel and Leah
Hannah

4. Just a Housewife?
Standing Between God and the People: Jael
Abigail
The Proverbs 31 Woman
Sisters in Service: Mary and Martha
The Samaritan Woman

5. Off to Work
Rahab
Ruth
Esther
Priscilla and Lydia

The women who don’t have links, I have not written on yet. I also realize the articles I have written need a lot of rewriting. For those who just found the site, Career Women of the Bible started out as my thesis in seminary. I’ve started to rewrite it, but it still is very scholary and has some ways to go before it has the narrative and story-like quality that I want the finished book to have.

This is just a start, but I think it is a good one. Any advice or opinions? Who did I leave out? Why do you think they should be included? Please let me know. Thanks.

In the RevGals Wednesday Festival, EarthenSoul was mourning that, at this point in her life, she would never have children. I am unable to have children due to health problems. Like EarthenSoul and Her Mate, My Hubby and I have decided not to adopt due to how old we will be when we get the kids off to college! Sally posted the wonderful prayer below in the comments on the post. It spoke to me and resonated in my heart. In the past few years, I have come to realize that just because I cannot have children does not mean I cannot nurture and love others and give birth to new ideas, books, and projects for the Kingdom of God. In fact, as a pastor I get to do one of the most incredible things there is: I get to love, nurture, and lead people into an intimate relationship with God. If that’s not mothering, I don’t know what is! I take my example from Deborah, who is called “a mother in Isreal” (Judges 5:6). Deborah is not called a mother because of her biological children. She is a mother for leading and defending the people of Israel, which were her children. Here is the prayer that Sally left for earthsoul and the rest of us who are unable to have children. It is from Nicola Slee’s “Praying like a woman.”

Though this belly has never been swollen with the burden of a baby, let me grow big with the longing for justice which will be for all of the children of God.

Though these breasts have never suckled an infant, let my largess of love nurture those who are hungry for the feast of life.

Though these arms have never cradled my own child, let them reach out tenderly to those who pine for a mothers love.

Though these lips have never spoken my own babies name, let me croon blessing and balm and healing on many a charmless unlullabied life.

Though this mind cannot truly imagine my own childs life, may I dream dreams for children whose prospects are pitiful and whose hopes are slender.

And though I have wept over my unborn child’s unfulfilled possibilities,
may I never be so absorbed in my own small griefs that I have not compassion to weep with the motherless child, and the childless mother, to grieve the abandoned infant and to rage over the still born babe.To sorrow over the squandered life and to lament over each uncherished son and daughter.

May I offer these arms,
Open this heart,
proffer this body,
to each baby screaming for justice,
each child reaching for love
each neighbour longing for mercy
each mother mourning the useless spilling of blood.

Childless and childbearing we belong together

We are each offspring of the body of God.