It’s been a few days since I posted. After I said that through the month of October I was going to post everyday Monday-Saturday. It’s been almost a week. Tuesday I started going into guilt and avoidance mode. Then that started alternating with the hurry-worry mode of “OK I need to do this, this and this NOW” which of course led to the overwhelmed mode, which circled back to guilt and avoidance mode. It’s a vicious cycle, and the cycle tends to make the clinical depression start waving it’s head and it’s cycles of apathy, vegging out in front of the TV, and lethargy. I realized what was going on yesterday and said enough.
Part of the problem is I am not taking care of myself. I’m not exercising nor am I eating right (or all that healthy). So today I decided to make time for exercise (instead of seeing if I had time), and being more mindful about what I eat. I walked today, and I’ve been making sure to get my fruit and veggies in. I’m making sure I say my daily prayers, and I need to start meditating again. Not to mention getting enough sleep. I’m looking at the minimum self-care routines I need to stay healthy, happy, and functional. Earlier this week I had my first meeting with a spiritual director I really like. That was a step in the right direction too, and one I’ve been putting off for far too long.
That also means getting back to blogging. Yes I fell off the horse. But it’s time to admit that I did, and get back up. It’s time to say I’m sorry for not doing what I would say I would do. And it’s time to start doing it. I took little steps today. But they were important. It broke the hold apathy had started to have, and it also bit into the depression that was beginning to cloud my mind. Tomorrow I will take more little steps: I will go to yoga class, be mindful about eating again, and write another blog post. I will also start planning out my next vlog. I will get back on track.
Stay tuned for more things about the women in the Bible you didn’t know. And yes, I am still releasing my first product at the end of this month.
What do you do when you notice yourself falling into unhealthy cycles? What little steps do you take that make a big difference?