Scsours had this incredible list of the next 50 bestsellers up on her blog, and I had to copy it and post it here. It is so good and so funny!
If you’ve always wanted to write a bestseller for the Christian Inspiration market, but don’t know where to start, maybe these titles will inspire you.
1. Your Best Life Now Book of Martyrs
2. I’m Totally Depraved, You’re Totally Depraved
3. 40 or so Days more-or-less of Purpose
4. Bowel Thou Art Loosed – A Christian Guide to Regularity
5. Good Morning Holy Mackerel – Spirit Filled Sport Fishing With Benny Hinn
6. Baldness, True Humility – The Saga of C.J. Mahaney’s Failed Hair Transplant
7. Prayer of Jabez Guide to Bankruptcy
8. The Ergun Caner Coffee Table Book of Ergun Caner
9. The Power of a Praying Mantis
10. Steal This Book- Then Repent, Bring it Back, and Confess
11. Desiring Gold – Meditations on Things I Would Buy if I were Rich
12. Pretty Good People in the Hands of an Ambivalent God
13. Y3K – Countdown to Armageddon
14. The Tax Code – Secret Messages from God Hidden in Your 1040 Long Form
15. Wicked at Heart – Discovering the Not-So-Secret Secret of Everyone’s Soul
16. Raptured By Mistake – Book I of the I Should Have Been Left Behind series
17. James White’s Guide to Weasel Hunting on the Campus of Liberty University
18. The Maker’s Diet II- What God Ate and How It Kept Him Healthy and Feeling Good Forever.
19. Holy Blood, Holy Grail, Holy Cow – Harry Carey’s Secret Membership in Opus Dei
20. The Canadian Prophecies : Ancient Scriptures Reveal Our Neighbor to the North’s Future
21. 90 Minutes in Hell – A True Story of Death and How Hell was Really Scary and How I Wanted to Get Out of There
22. Purple Like Barney – Non-Religious Thoughts on Obnoxious PBS Children’s Programming
23. 12 Extraordinary Little Women – An Inspirational Look at 12 Godly Midgets’ Lives
24. Velour Pelagius – Repainting the Emerging Faith
25. The Sixth Love Language – When Heartfelt Commitment Isn’t Enough, Christian Techniques to Get You Out of the Dog House
26. Boise Countdown – How The Capitol of Idaho Will Play A Pivotal Roll in the Unfolding of the Millennium
27. Battlefield of the Lower Intestine – Claim Victory Over Satan and His Relentless Attacks on Your Digestive System
28. Discernment and How to Know A Good Book on it When You See One – Tim Challies
29. Veggie Tales Systematic Theology
30. For Men and Women Only – A Straightforward Guide to Stuff You Already Know
31. I Kissed Bundling Goodbye
32. The Message: Shaken-not-Stirred
33. Total Truth II: Electric Boogaloo
34. Found Again – The Baxter family reunites to extract more dollars from the Christian book-buying public
35. Noing God: Tales from the Bible on How to Refuse God and Live to Tell About it
36. Outhouse – Vacationing couples are pursued by a maniac killer who lures them to a vacant outhouse which won’t let them leave. The outhouse mirrors their own heart and souls and they must defeat the evil within
37. What’s So Amazing About Grace Kelly?
38. If You Want to Walk on Water Then You Have to Be Jesus? or maybe that David Blaine guy
39. What on Earth Am I Here For and Why On Earth Do I Keep Asking Myself These Questions?
40. Having a Mary Heart in a Paul Body
41. It’s Not About Me Too – Further Self-Reflections Not About Me.
42. More Secret Power Within: Chuck Norri’s Guide To Kickin’ the Crap out of Badguys for Christ
43. Misquoting Misquoting Jesus: The Story Behind Who Changed Misquoting Jesus and Why
44. The Openness of God: How 5 Theologians Go to Heaven only to find it “Closed for the Season”
45. Reimagining Jesus Until I Like What I See
46. A Generous Orthodontics – Why I Think My Fillings Will Be in Heaven
47. Even Newer Strong’s Exhausting Concordance – Heavier than Ever
48. Where Would Jesus Eat and How Much Did He Tip?
49. The Way Down Diet – Lose Weight and Your Salvation
50. Capitulating: Unveiling the Mystery of Keeping Your Wife from Getting Mad at You When You Want to Run Around and Do Wild at Heart Kind of Guy Stuff
Here’s my addition: The Celebration of Laziness: How to do as little as possible and still call yourself a Christian.
What are your additions?
0 thoughts on “A Little Humor”
Those are great! I thought of “The Secret Massage of Jesus,” but I couldn’t think of anything for the subtitle that didn’t sound raunchy. Good job!
Two titles I would like to see:
“The dessert fathers – the faboulus story of the pastry making in the spirit” and “The secret massage of Jesus – the back rub of the Lord”
Oh, I *love* yours!! I wish I were that clever!